


To Whom It May Concern...

by lizziepro



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2018-06-05 18:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6715651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizziepro/pseuds/lizziepro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun has a crush, and it's the stupidest thing he's ever felt. Why does Choi Siwon have to be so perfect? And why does email have to be so difficult to use when drunk?</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Whom It May Concern...

_There was a knock at the door_.

Kyuhyun knew who it was and, well, let's just say he wasn't too keen on answering the door to his bedroom given the current circumstances.

Kyuhyun had been harboring a crush. A stupid, gross, lovey dovey crush that he hated himself for having. He couldn't help it though. It was a real thing. It made his stomach twist in knots. It made him sweat with anxiousness. **It made him crazy**. Like screaming into his pillows and flailing his legs around on his bed while he tossed and turned in ridiculousness...... **crazy**. Pulling at his hair with every encounter he fucks up and says something dumb...... **crazy**. Wanting to shut himself in an elevator and hoping it magically breaks from the pulley system and falls tremendously to the bottom floor where his impending death awaits..... **crazy.**

But it was inevitable. **How could someone NOT totally and completely crush on Choi Siwon?**

**Siwon was absolutely perfect.**

_**Firstly**_ , the man looks as if he were carved out of marble by the gods themselves. Not everyone is born with those features, so chiseled, so etched in perfect lines. His rock hard abs he shamelessly flashed at every chance he got. Those arms that could probably lift a grizzly bear or two if he tried, as if they were simply stuffed animals he could cuddle. Those legs, sending him bounding toward Kyuhyun whenever he saw him to embrace him tightly, again with those goddamn perfect arms. Those hands, the hands that Kyuhyun often found himself holding not even of his own accord, and that remained somehow untainted by sweat while Kyuhyun's hands seemed to produce an unstoppable river of perspiration as they rested in Siwon's. Kyuhyun had nice features too, but he never saw himself as comparing to the most handsome man, in his opinion, in the group. It was like comparing a pizza to a steak dinner, you just couldn't do it.

 _ **Secondly**_ , he was one of the most genuinely good-hearted people anyone could hope to meet. He'd do anything for anyone at the drop of a hat, and not have a second thought about it. They could be a stranger in need, and Siwon would do his best to help them out of their desperate situation, whatever it was. He never asked for anything in return. It was all for the "greater glory of the Lord", Siwon would say, and one day he would be rewarded in Heaven for it, so he didn't ask for anything on this planet as his Lord had a plan for him. How someone could live by that was beyond Kyuhyun, who literally only went to church with his family when he was obliged to and would often simply pray that his voice wouldn't go out the next week or that he would scrounge up enough money from appearances and such to buy that new Diablo game.

 _ **Finally,**_ his disgusting amount of doting on Kyuhyun. This was what really sent Kyuhyun over the edge. Kyuhyun was a man. A Man's Man. He did not like affection or intimacy of the gross, cute kind. It was against his morals as a man. Plus, he was totally just weirded out by the thought that someone could like him like that and want to treat him well in any situation, but he decided he had an aversion to said doting because he was a capital M Man. Siwon was always treating him better than the others. He bought him whatever food he wanted, bought him games from time to time, lied to the managers for him when he wanted to sleep in a couple extra hours, got the other members to do some of his chores when he was feeling particularly lazy, and just overall showed Kyuhyun more affection than he did anyone else. The worst of it being the hugs and kisses.

Those were frequent and numerous.

And truthfully, Kyuhyun loved it. While on the outside, he would grimace and just take the cuddles for their face value and fanservice, repaying them in full in front of the thousands of screaming fans with a slight smirk, but inside Kyuhyun was screaming just like those fangirls. 

How the fuck Siwon had that effect on him was beyond his understanding.

And he didn't like it.

**That vulnerability.**

It was dumb, and he wasn't particularly fond of dumb things such as this, but he couldn't help it.

The night he realized he had a crush on Siwon, he had been attending a company party, hanging out with Minho and Changmin of course, and Siwon was wandering from group to group. Kyuhyun watched his path carefully, looking at who he was flattering, and wishing that it was him. Then, she showed up. His ex girlfriend. She had on a short dress, killer heels, and her make up was done to perfection. Kyuhyun felt his heart sink. She had said, when they broke up, that it was mutual, and that it was for the better, since neither of them were particularly invested in this for the long run. Kyuhyun knew what was really going on though, even if he stayed quiet while the dumb bitch talked and talked and talked. She liked Donghae, and wanted to make her move on him as soon as possible since he'd just recently been broken up with, and was, well, vulnerable, much like Kyuhyun was now. No sooner did she enter the room at the party did her slutty self walk right up to Donghae, wrapping her arms around his neck, shooting Kyuhyun glares over his shoulder.

_This dumb girl._

Kyuhyun left the party, feigning an upset stomach from not eating right before drinking, and Changmin and Minho said their goodbyes that night, letting the not-so-stable Kyuhyun drive himself home.

On his drive home, he tried to distract himself from thinking about her. He decided to think of Siwon instead, or that's what he told himself. 

_"Siwon had on a nice suit tonight. I'll have to ask him where he got it. Maybe we can go buy suits together for the next party. He always looks good in a suit. How does he do that? I wonder if he'd buy me one or something. No. He wouldn't do that. Wait, no he definitely would. I'd buy him food in return or something though. But it'd be food I liked. Because the food I like is the best. What food does Siwon like best again? I should buy him food sometime soon. He looks so cute when he eats. He always gets food on his cheeks. It's adorable. Siwon's really great. I need to hangout with him more often. I wonder if he's been getting enough sleep? I bet he's been super busy with filming. Does he like filming that much? I wish he would just take care of himself. He's too good to be hurt or anything."_

This was essentially how the entire car ride home progressed, Kyuhyun speaking out loud to himself about Siwon and delving into a subject he whole heartedly enjoyed, to be honest. 

Why was he so attached to Siwon?

What was it about him?

_He couldn't possibly love him, right?_

When he arrived at the dorm parking lot, he walked slowly to the doors, trying to get that dumb girl out of his head.

He didn't need this. He didn't need it at all. If he just stayed away from her, he'd feel a million times better and he could be totally fine and dandy and wonderful and he could continue to think about how great Siwon was............................................. **wait.**

_"She's an idiot. Thinking she can make me mad. Siwon would never do that. He's too good. He'd never hurt anyone he was with. He's so nice. I wonder if he's home yet. He's so funny when he drinks. Dumbass. Thinks he can just schmooze everyone. He does look cute when he drinks. His face gets all flushed and his eyes get kind of sleepy. It's adorab- **WAIT**. what am I saying?"_

_"Kyuhyunnie? Are you okay?"_ said a voice right next to Kyuhyun's ear.

It was Choi fucking Siwon himself, in the flesh.

 _"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be okay?"_ Kyuhyun said, still a bit distraught from the surprise of Siwon's presence. That guy really needed to learn to alert others to his impending appearance.

 _"Well, it's just that you left the party, so I came home to make sure you were alright. You don't deserve to be sad, Kyuhyunnie."_ Siwon said looking sincerely at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun was a little uneasy about this whole situation. He didn't need Siwon to worry about him, but the fact that he knew something was wrong, this........this guy. How did he live with himself? Being so perfect. Goddamnit.

 _"It's cool. Don't worry about it."_ Kyuhyun replied, beginning to walk away from Siwon toward the door to the dorm. Well, he was walking until Siwon pulled his arm back and tightly embraced him, forcing his nose right into his chest. While Kyuhyun found it extremely difficult to breathe, with his lungs being crushed by those perfect arms and his nose currently stuffed with whatever the fuck nice material this shirt Siwon was wearing was made out of, he thought he also might be having respiratory issues because he was so close to Siwon. So close, in such an intimate way. But that was what Siwon was known for.

 _"Kyuhyun, I'm sorry she showed up. Don't let her get to you. You can do much better. I promise."_ Siwon said, right into his ear. So sincere. Kyuhyun thought he might die from the cuteness and the cheesiness of the whole situation.

 _"Thanks hyung."_ Kyuhyun muttered through Siwon's shirt. Siwon quickly placed a kiss on Kyuhyun's cheek, immediately let the younger go and began walking away.

 _"You're welcome, Kyuhyunnie. Now get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight~"_ Siwon said over his shoulder as he walked up the first flight of stairs in the stairwell on the opposite side of the door.

Kyuhyun stood there in shock. He touched the place where Siwon had kissed him, letting his fingers linger on the hint of new warmth on his cheek. He felt his lips turn upward into a small, kittenlike smirk.

And then he noticed what the fuck he was doing, immediately pulling his hand from his face.

_"I can't be in love with him. No. I just need to sleep. That's it. There's no way in Hell I'm in love with Choi Siwon."_

_"Who're you in love with?"_ Someone said from behind Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun jumped slightly and turned around, beginning to chuckle to himself and walk back toward the door.

_"No one Sungmin, especially not you."_

_"That's not fair. We even share a room, Kyuhyun. How rude."_ Sungmin states, huffing a little as he passes through the now open door to the stairwell.

Kyuhyun follows close behind, muttering a _"sorry"_ as they reach their room, and after getting ready for bed, Kyuhyun lets his head fall to his pillow. That night, then and there, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew he was in love with Choi Siwon. He couldn't get the dumb guy out of his mind! He laid there wondering if he'd brushed his teeth, washed his face, if he'd even fucking wear his favorite cologne to the recording in the morning.

Kyuhyun was in love.

Totally, goofy in love.

**And he hated it.**

The next morning's fiasco almost sent him into hysterics, as at 6am, bright an early, he still had Siwon on his mind. He was the first thing he thought about when he regained consciousness, and he didn't like it one bit, even though the butterflies in his stomach told him otherwise, in addition to the newfound warmth in his heart as he thought about the pleasant morning smiles Siwon would give him as they shared their time getting ready with one another.

Kyuhyun was in the middle of his daze, thinking about how Siwon would look better if he grew his hair out again, in addition to mentally punching himself in the fucking face for thinking these stupid thoughts.

**No.**

He couldn't think about how great Siwon's mane was a couple years ago.

Even if it was the softest, most fucking beautiful head of hair he'd ever had the pleasure of coming into contact with in his short 24 years on the planet, he knew a good quaff when he saw one, and damnit, Siwon had one.

But he couldn't think about it. About how fucking handsome Siwon had looked, and still fucking looks.

He wouldn't allow himself to.

He had to get Siwon out of his thoughts in order to survive.

Too bad at that very moment Kyuhyun received a back hug and a nose nuzzled into his back with a _"Good morning, sunshine"_ from that very man.

Kyuhyun swears his heart stopped right then and there.

He felt the heat return to his cheeks as he stood frozen to the spot, hand having stopped moving his toothbrush in his mouth.

 _"Are you better today, Kyuhyunnie?"_ Siwon asked against the younger's thermal-clad back.

 _"Mhmmm."_ was all Kyuhyun could mutter out.

 _"Good. That's good."_ Siwon said, letting go of Kyuhyun and making his way to the other end of the counter, grasping his toothbrush and toothpaste and joining the activity Kyuhyun was just now scrambling to finish.

Kyuhyun swooped down to the faucet, scooping water hurriedly into his mouth to rinse the residue away. He couldn't help but side-eye Siwon in the mirror. His hair was ruffled from sleep, he had no shirt to speak of, and his eyes were closed entirely, symbolizing totally his grogginess and mild hangover from the night before.

Kyuhyun thought he looked perfect like that.

**NO.**

**NO. HE COULDN'T.**

He slapped himself mentally again, more forcefully throwing handfuls of water into his mouth, looking like a wanderer who hadn't seen water in days. He didn't care. He needed to be out of that bathroom. Especially when Siwon started brushing his hand against Kyuhyun's under the running faucet, now rinsing his own mouth.

**_That beautiful, fucking mouth._ **

**WHAT.**

**WHY.**

Kyuhyun was going to crack soon if he didn't leave, so he threw his toothbrush into the drawer and almost ran out of the bathroom, straight into his room and shutting the door behind him.

If simply brushing his teeth with Siwon was going to do that to him, he should've known how much worse it was going to get.

But alas, he didn't.

Or maybe he didn't _want_ to.

All he remembers though is that day at dance practice, as they were learning new choreography, Siwon touching him in his usual way, hands on his hips or giving him back hugs, but this time Kyuhyun couldn't handle it, and spent the entire practice running away from Siwon. Siwon would try to come over to him, help him with a particular move, but Kyuhyun, being as quick as he was, would see him and immediately move over to Ryeowook or Yesung and make up some bullshit conversation about the weather or the finishing job on the wood floors, leaving Siwon to look over with his eyebrows cocked. 

Kyuhyun knew he was being awkward, and weird, but he needed to be away from Siwon.

Away from the source of his stupid fucking confusion.

Who was Siwon to make him feel all these dumb emotions?

Even though Kyuhyun did like the thought of someone liking him and wanting to make him happy, but no! Crushes are dumb, and Siwon acts like that with everyone, and Kyuhyun was not nearly ready to admit his defeat to the Choi Siwon enigma.

Nope.

**He couldn't.**

It would lessen his badass reputation, or something.

_It made sense in his mind._

FInally, Siwon left for a month to go to Taiwan for a drama filming with Donghae, giving Kyuhyun some much needed breathing room to figure things out, or ignore them.

He ignored them.

_Most of the time._

When he wasn't bitching to Changmin about his dumb emotions.

Changmin grew tired of it very very quickly though. As much as he loved and adored his best friend, he couldn't stand to see him floundering like this. Sitting there one second talking about how Siwon posted the cutest picture on Twitter, yes **_"CUTEST"_** , and how he looked like he was doing well in Taiwan, or how concerned Kyuhyun was about whether or not Siwon was eating properly, and then quickly do the opposite and yell in the middle of a restaurant about how Siwon's abs _"weren't that chocolate really!"_ or how _"his hair is so dumb and I wish he would change it because I like it too much!"_ (he'd been growing it out recently, leaving Kyuhyun to remember vividly his mother once telling him to be careful what he wishes for). 

Kyuhyun was spiraling, and it was funny as hell, but also super concerning to Changmin.

 _"Just fucking tell him how you feel, Kyu!"_ Changmin said, downing another shot in his dorms, Kyuhyun sitting next to him on the couch with a drama playing on the tv in front of them.

_"I can't just tell him!"_

_"Why the fuck not?"_

_"Because!...........I don't know if I even like him!"_ Kyuhyun said, pounding his shot glass down on the table to refill it.

_"Well, I for one think his eyebrows need to be controlled. I mean really-"_

_**"HIS EYEBROWS ARE GREAT THOUGH! THEY SUIT HIS FACE REALLY WELL-"** _

_**"SEE! YOU'RE EVEN FUCKING DEFENDING HIS EYEBROWS, KYU!"** _

_"..............So...............?"_

_"You wouldn't defend his eyebrows if you didn't like him."_

_"And what in the fuck type of logic is that to use in this situation?"_

_"The most valid logic."_

_"Okay, it makes sense. Fine. But I still can't tell him."_

_"Why not, Kyu?"_

_"Because........it'd be weird being together and working together, like in Super Junior."_

_"You're worried about that? Really?"_

_"Yes. Everyone would see me fall all fucking over him and it would be embarrassing. I've got a reputation to keep, Changmin. 'Classy Man' is my reality."_

_"More like fumbling teenage girl in love."_

_"I will end you."_

_"With what, your pink journal with all your darkest secrets about how much you love oppa in it?"_

_"Fuck you."_

_"But in all seriousness, Kyu. Just talk to Leeteuk then. I'm sure he'd be able to help you better than I could."_

_"What am I even supposed to say to him? 'Hi Teukie hyung. So I have a schoolgirl crush on Choi Siwon, what should I do?' He's not a fucking Ask Abby columnist or some shit."_

_"Hahaha, you have no idea how dumb you sound, do you?"_

_"Shut up and help me, Changmin-ah."_

_"Okay. Really, Leeteuk is your best bet. That's why he's leader. He'll know exactly how to handle it."_

_"But I can't talk to him."_

_"Why?"_

_"He's out of the country."_

_"Send him an email then."_

_"Oh that's a fucking fantastic idea. He'll really take me seriously then."_

_"You're the one who came over asking for my help with your dumb crush on a horse-"_

_**"HE IS NOT SIMPLY A HORSE, HE IS A MAJESTICAL STEED IF ANYTHING."** _

Changmin stared at his best friend for a minute or so before reaching for the soju bottle in his hand.

_"Well, someone's getting cut off for the night."_

_**"WHAT?!"** _

_"Email Leeteuk in a couple of days. He'll help you. Really."_

_"Fine. Can I drink more now?"_

_"Nope, you're gonna go to sleep. Obviously the stress of being a 14 year old girl in love with handsome oppa is too much for your fragile condition and I can't let 14 year olds drink with me."_ Changmin said, standing up and grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch, tossing it to Kyuhyun who looked up in distress.

 ** _"YAH! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH OPPA."_** Kyuhyun yelled.

_" **SHHHHHH.** The neighbors will hear about your crush and tell oppa before you do. Now go to sleep, princess. You need your beauty rest if you want oppa to love you."_

_"You're the one who needs beauty rest, you Dumbo freak."_ Kyuhyun said, curling up under the blanket and into the side of the couch.

 _"Goodnight Kyuhyun._ " Changmin retorted over his shoulder, turning off the lights and leaving Kyuhyun to his solitude to sleep.

 _"I don't love oppa-fuck hyung................okay. Maybe I do, a little, but how is Teukie hyung supposed to help me with this?!"_ Kyuhyun muttered to himself, under his blanket.

 _"This is dumb. I need to focus on other things. Like sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep is the best. I love sleep. Not Hyung. I love sleep. And wine. Hyung knows how to pick out good wines. I wonder if he'll bring me any good booze back from- **NO. STOP**." _ Kyuhyun mentally battled with himself in a similar fashion for the next hour, until finally he couldn't take it anymore.

He found Changmin's laptop plugged into the wall in the living room and opened it up. He quickly logged into his email, choosing to ignore the countless emails from the company and his StarCraft friends asking where the fuck he's been for the past 2 months...........but then he found something, or rather it found him.

An email appeared at the top of his inbox, freshly sent.

3:23am was the timestamp.

From: Choi Siwon  
Subject: Fun in Taiwan

_"Kyuhyunnie, I hope you're sleeping well. I thought you might enjoy this. I had to do this scene today where I drank too much wine and got completely drunk. Here's a picture of me acting that role. Good thing you can hold your liquor, otherwise I'd have to worry about you even more. I hope you've been well over this month. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait to see you. I miss you!_

_Love,  
                                                                                                  Siwonnie~  <3 ^-^"_

**Kyuhyun wanted to puke.**

**_What was this cute shit?_ **

Okay, so this was how Siwon signed every email, and he always said he missed him when he was gone, but this time, Kyuhyun was thoroughly unprepared for the email contents. He opened up the photo attachment and it showed Siwon sprawled out in a beach chair, sunglasses covering his eyes, wine stains on his shirt, and empty wine bottles littering his surroundings.

Kyuhyun had to stifle his laughter into a pillow.

This guy.

_So cute._

**NO.**

**NOT CUTE.**

**NOT CUTE AT ALL.**

Kyuhyun's face contorted into a mixture of pain and confusion and delight.

He needed to email Leeteuk now.

**Right fucking now.**

This couldn't go on any longer.

He opened a fresh message and began to type.

Subject: Love Advice??? ^^;;;

_"Hi Teukie hyung, I know you're in Europe right now, but..............I really need your help. Or at least Changmin thinks I need your help. And he's usually right, so......whatever. Okay. So you know when you like someone? And you feel really dumb about it? Like when you're around them you can't stop smiling, and you constantly want to impress them, but you can't do anything right and your face gets all red and.......... wait, let me start over. Okay. Teukie hyung, I've got a crush on someone. Someone we both know. He's really amazing. His smile is the brightest thing I've ever seen. He cares more than anyone I've ever met. He's handsome as shit. And I like him. No. I fucking love him. And it's dumb. I feel dumb. Why is this dumb? Because I said it is...................Is it really dumb though, Teukie hyung? I don't want it to be dumb. Not at all. I want it to be okay. But I'm afraid. Like really really afraid. Because what if he doesn't like me back? What am I supposed to do then? Just sit there and mope over this stupid crush?_ **THIS IS WHY I CAN'T LOVE HYUNG**. Siwon hyung is the most perfect person on the planet and I'm stupid crazy in love with him.......Wait, I said his name. Well, shit. Okay, but this is the main reason I'm emailing you, is because I don't know how to handle this with him being part of the group. Would things have to change? I don't want them to change just because of my dumb crush, but I really love him, hyung. He's all I think about, all I dream about, and it's gross, but I can't help it. Please. I just need to know that this is okay. I really want it to be okay, more than anything, even if he is a dumb lumbering guy and looks really adorable when he's cold. I want to know it's okay to love him.  
If you're questioning my state of mind at the moment, yes, I have in fact been drinking all night with Changmin-ah, but that doesn't really matter. **LOVE MATTERS, OKAY**.   
Alright, thanks, Teukie Hyung.  
I love you,  
  Kyuhyunnie" 

Kyuhyun went to go send the email, but before he did he looked once more at the picture Siwon had sent him, in all his glory.

He chuckled to himself, clicking to send to the most recent recipient of something he'd sent/received in his inbox, and pressed send.

He leant back on the couch and felt a sense of calm overtake his body.

Everything would be fine.............................................

**WAIT.**

He flew back up and grabbed the laptop, opening his email and looking through it once more. Leeteuk wasn't the most recent person to send or receive anything for him like he'd thought.............

It was Choi Siwon.

**NO.**

**FUCK.**

**THIS WASN'T HAPPENING.**

Kyuhyun started sweating and shaking, he thought he would puke all over the couch.

This couldn't really be happening to him right now.

He grabbed the laptop and bolted into Changmin's room, jumping onto his bed and violently shaking his best friend.

 _ **"CHANGMIN-AH. I JUST FUCKED UP. I FUCKED UP SO BAD. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?! WAKE THE FUCK UP. THIS IS SERIOUS."**_ Kyuhyun screamed.

_"Kyu, oppa doesn't have time for your shit right now, it's 4am."_

_**"FUCK YOU. YOU'RE NOT MY OPPA, NOR MY HYUNG. WAKE UP."** _

Chanmgin sat up, head covered by the blanket, squinting to look at the bright computer screen.

 _"What did you do, Kyu? Lose a game?"_ he said, nuzzling into Kyuhyun's shoulder for some form of warmth and shield from the blinding screen light.

_**"NO.** Changmin, remember how you told me to email Leeteuk?"_

_"Yeah, it was like an hour ago."_

_"Well, I wrote out the email and I sent it."_

_"Good."_

_"To Siwon."_

_**"NO YOU DIDN'T."** _

_**"I DID THOUGH."** _

_**"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"** _

_**"I DID IT ON ACCIDENT. NOT ON PURPOSE."** _

_"Oh my god. This is the best thing you've ever done Kyu. Was it sappy? Was it cute?"_

_"Of course it fucking was. I was spilling my fucking guts out in this email and I fucking sent it to Siwon by mistake."_

_"When does he get back."_

_"Tomorrow afternoon."_

_" **BAHAHAHAHAHAHA** Oh my god, Kyuhyun, this is why drunk emailing is a bad thing." _ Changmin said through his cackling.

Kyuhyun shoved him back down to his pillow and just sat there. Changmin reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

 _"It'll all be fine, Kyuhyun. Really. This isn't as bad as you think. Now you'll find out for sure if you're crush is justified and you can move on with your fucking life. You've been kind of mopey and weird the past couple months. You'll be fine once you know if he likes you back or not. That's how it always goes. Trust me."_ Changmin muttered from behind Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun just smiled, looking down at the email.

He shut the laptop and set it on the ground as he laid back in the bed next to Changmin, punching his shoulder once before turning over.

 _"Goodnight to you too then, Kyuhyun."_ was all Changmin said before Kyuhyun fell asleep.

He awoke the next morning around 10am, having the day free from schedules. He stretched, letting his arms hit the headboard above him, slowly realizing that he was in Changmin's bed, and why exactly he was in Changmin's bed.

He felt his stomach drop and the color fade from his face.

Today was going to be the most awkward day of his life.

He left the apartment easily, as Changmin had left for schedules earlier in the morning, leaving Kyuhyun to leave on his own, but he didn't mind. He'd rather not face Changmin this morning after his fiasco last night.

He drove back to the dorms, took a hot shower, and by the time he was done checking emails and looking at fan cafes, it was around 2pm. 

It wouldn't be long til Siwon was home.

How the fuck was he supposed to take care of this mishap? 

There was no way he could say that it was a mistake or that he wasn't talking about Siwon. He fucking said his name in the email. He was screwed. Totally screwed.

Maybe he'd play it off as he was drunk?

That'd be good.

Or that Changmin had pranked him while they were drinking.

Maybe it would be a dare?

That was dumb.

**WHY DID HE HAVE TO HAVE A CRUSH ANYWAY?!?**

Gross. 

Crushes are so gross and just...................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_There was a knock at the door._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyuhyun knew who it was, and he didn't want to answer it.

He remained sitting at his desk, hoping he'd be left alone by whoever wanted in his room, thinking he was sleeping or something.

 _"Kyuhyun. I could hear you talking to yourself. Open up."_ said the voice on the other side.

Of course Kyuhyun had been talking aloud to himself,

and of **FUCKING** course Siwon had heard him.

Kyuhyun sighed heavily and trudged to the door, wiping his once again sweaty palms on his pants.

He opened the door slowly, peeking around the corner to see Siwon standing there, smiling so sincerely it almost hurt Kyuhyun.

Except for the fact that the pain would be caused by cuteness and not anger.

He sighed and opened the door all the way, looking up at Siwon under his bangs.

 _"What do you want?"_ Kyuhyun said softly. He knew what was coming and the embarrassment was already unbearable.

He didn't want to even think about how much he'd hate himself once Siwon turned him down.

Just then, Siwon pulled out a piece of paper from behind his back, continuing to lean against the doorway and smile.

Kyuhyun squinted to read the print.

**Goddamnit.**

He'd printed out a copy of the email.

Probably to tear it up in front of his face or something, but no, probably not because it was Siwon and he wouldn't hurt a fly.

 _"Oh, well, uhm, about that, uh......"_ Kyuhyun fumbled over his words, searching for the right ones to explain himself and not sound like a total dweeb in the process.

Then Siwon did the unthinkable.

He leant in, plut both of his hands on Kyuhyun's neck and face, and kissed Kyuhyun right on the lips, sufficiently shutting him up.

It too a moment but Kyuhyun responded, finally kissing him back.

Siwon pulled away first, leaving Kyuhyun to stand there in shock.

Being quick as he was though, the shock didn't last too long, and Kyuhyun was overjoyed at the current series of events.

 _"So, I guess that's a yes or something? I couldn't really tell."_ Kyuhyun said, smirk as wide as the fucking ocean.

Siwon laughed in response and, not saying anything, moved to kiss Kyuhyun again.

 

 

 

 

 

Okay......

so maybe having a crush wasn't so bad, especially when the person you're crushing on likes you back, or in Kyuhyun's case, doesn't get easily weirded out by drunk emails at 3am.

And Kyuhyun was fine by that.

Even though he still thought emotions were dumb and gross, this wasn't all that bad if it was the result.


End file.
